Okay so here is the sitch people. I have tried my hand at many businesses over the years because ever since I was 16 years old and pregnant with my daughter I have wanted a very Emma Harte type of existence. And while our lives do mirror each other when it comes to the tragedy and hardship part on so many levels its scary, they absolutely DO NOT on the success in business area, sadly for me.
The biggest difference is that well I am a real person while Ms. Emma Harte is fictional. But she has always been so real to me, such an inspiration. I have read that book over 20 times in the last 21 years and I own 3 different copies of it as well as the DVD. Yes I am a fan lol. If you have ever read it you know, and if you choose to read it then you will know.
Why would a 37 year old woman continue to strive for though never achieve any real success and yet still feel like this fictional character is someone to be looked up to? Partly because like all of us, I still view the heroine of "A Woman of Substance" through the eyes of a pregnant 16 years old that felt alone in this world when her daughters father died. Also because like almost everyone else as well, I want the American dream. I want to be able to work for and build a legacy for my children and grand children and I pray that I can have fun along the way.
But how can I when I have spent the past 9 years of my life on hold? I have changed from the person I once was and I hate it. Today I can say that I am so tired or being sick and tired of my life. My house is always in a shambles, I have gained 90 EFFING pounds - bleh, I have not dated since my last horrific relationship ended and my kids are crazy and disrespectful. I have no social life, I only see my friends when we vacation every year and though I love (most of) the people I work with I hate my job.
What do I think I need to start changing these things?
-God
-Church
-New business shift
-Ability to stop being passive/agressive and stand my ground with my children
-Actually riding the bike I was gifted by my mom
-Deciding that I am important again
Sooooo......
God and church - I will start reading my bible each night again. And I will try the church I visited a few times last year.
New Business Shift - I have tried for years to start an ebook publishing business. Well I took certain steps to do this but never really followed through. My old counselor says I am scared of success, how twisted is that? Anyway, now, instead of looking for people who have done the deed with AIS (ass in seat) and written books, so that I could publish and market for them, I have decided to "put up or shut up'. I have written my first non fiction book and I am in the process of editing it.
Passive/Agressiveness - I'm sure its from my upbringing but I have a difficult time calling someone out, now I do get to a point where I've bottled it up for so long that I let people have it and it can and has, gotten VERY ugly and scary. It's like I am a different person. This is unhealthy and I want to erase that out of the way that I handle my children and all of their young adult and teenage angst. All it does is stress me further and not solve the initial problem
Riding my bike - Simple, Get off my ass and get on my bike, ugh! But seriously I went from a size 3/4 to an 18 - how sad :(
I am Important - I am ! I just have to constantly remind myself that I am and that all of the hard work and sacrifice I am planning to under take is doable because I am important enough to work for, as are my children.
Until next time, I leave you with a quote that I likey :) "Setting a goal doesn't guarantee success; it just gives you a target. You still have to work your tail off to hit it. —Dave Ramsey
Here goes nothin'
